Perhaps one of the greatest points of contention for a bridal party is what to wear? Will the bride put you in taffeta? Will they put you in a tu-tu? Will they ask you to walk down the aisle in nothing but your skivvies?
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Okay, so chances are the last question will never happen. So what's the rule to being the best MOH you can be?
Wear it, even if it's not your color, even if it itches, even if you hate your arms-- Just Do It.
Here's my rule of thumb: In so many years when it's your turn to get married, would your bride wear whatever you pick? Yes? Then wear it. If you said no, then maybe this isn't a wedding you should be.
I swear I'm not actually all that harsh in real life, but if the person who is perhaps your bestest friend asked you to be MOH you put on that dress for her. Better yet, just picture the worse thing you can imagine (Like 1980s only bigger and more itchy). Then whatever she picks will be great.
Some brides want their bridesmaids to pick the dress. Any they honestly want their opinion. Now there maybe a few reasons for this: lots of different body types, some are more modest than others, they actually want you to re-wear the dress, etc. So in that case if you're sugar-coated opinion. Do you hate strapless because of your arms? I do. But I wore it, because I knew it would look lovely on everyone else and the day is not about me.
Now, if you are MOH and the other bridesmaids show the bride a dress you know the bride hates-- be the bad guy. Tell the other bridesmaids you hate high-low dresses, or scoop necklines, or it's too trendy or whatever. You are the right hand woman, which means you are first inline to wear that seafoam green, mid-calf length, peplum sporting, tulle puffed arm, taffeta dress that comes with a tu-tu.
Perhaps the only times you can tell a bride how you actually feel about a dress:
You are uncomfortable in it modesty-wise.
If you are a busty woman such as myself, you may really uncomfortable in the deep V-necked dress everyone else is in love with. You have a right to stand your ground on this one. Ask the bride if you can have a piece of fabric put in if the neckline is too low for comfort. Or maybe add cap sleeves if you don't usually show your shoulders. If something makes you feel super uncomfortable in the modest-sense, stand your ground and offer an alternative. Don't hate on the dress, be creative and your bride will surely help a sister out.
The dress is crazy expensive.
The average price for a bridesmaid dress is around $150 not including tax. Don't believe me? Check David's Bridal, your jaw will drop. Now if you are in a financially sticky place to begin with you have to realize that being a party of the wedding is going to cost money. Dress, shoes, travel, gifts, bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc. Those are perhaps the biggest ones. But if you really really can't swing the dress price, talk to the bride calmly and rationally. Do not let your emotions get the best of you and do not yell at her. Chances are the bride tried to pick the most inexpensive dress that also fit her vision. So be understanding, and most importantly be prepared to remove yourself from the wedding. I know this sounds harsh, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.
If you're not on a time crunch, typically you can set aside some money at a time to pay it off before you even buy it. You can search online for the same one, but used (I suggest ebay, craigslist, and ruffled blog). You can also clean the dress after you use it and sell it back off.
Just for fun the average a bridesmaid spends on a wedding she is a part of.
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Do not let yourself go into debt over a wedding, but be prepared to make financial sacrifices.
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