MOH Duty: Finding a Photographer

My bride got married in approx. 4 months.  Yep, from Lt. J (aka her now hubby) getting down on 1 knee, to her walking down the aisle.  She was in her last semester of undergrad and student teaching.  So needless to say, she was a bit stressed.  Within 2 weeks she had church, reception, bridesmaids, dresses, and her dress done.  Which is BEYOND impressive to me.

Anyway, because all of that happened first her budget for a photographer seemed itsy bitsy.  She was looking for a romantic, vintagey style of photographer.  It was only fitting because the reception took place at an old mansion.

So, is your bride stressed out?  Do you have free time on your hands during normal daylight hours (aka 9-5)? Here's a secret: you don't need tons of time, contrary to popular belief.

For about an hour or 2 on one of the days my friend could spare we went over photographers she liked so I got a sense of her style.  What did I do the following week?  I emailed/ called/ facebook messaged each and every one of them.  I found out A) Are they available on her date? B) What was there price range? C) Had they ever photographed a Catholic/ Military wedding before? and finally D) What was there refund agreement.

How did this help my bride you ask?  She didn't get bombarded with a million emails a day, and I was her gate keeper.  I weeded through, the biggest filter was probably if they were available her date.

We started a google doc, I wrote down all their package information and price (regardless if it was over her budget).  Because I at least wanted her to know.  Finally, after what seemed nearly hopeless we found the one.  Bethany Wears was actually referred to me by another photographer who was not available on the day of Em & Lt. J's wedding.

She was sweet and wonderful.  She wasn't intrusive and was truly there to just capture the day.  I'll show you some pictures here, but if you're in the Kansas City area or really want her to shoot your wedding she was awesome!

These were are bridesmaid bouquets, can you believe they came from HyVee (basically a Safeway?!)

It's not a military wedding until you cut cake with a saber and make a funny face. 

I know this isn't something Maid/ Matron's of Honor typically do, but I would definitely consider asking you friend if she'd like your help.  They may want it, but just don't know how to ask.

Bridal Shower Craft: Shower Favors

For the Bridal Shower, I thought the best theme to fit Em's personality and wedding would be a tea-party.  Her colors were pink, soft gold, and ivory.  I know, super femme.  I loved it! :) 

Anyway, the first thing I worked after I nailed down a date and place (5 weeks before her wedding, on a sunday & Em's mom's house in a suburb of Kansas City), was a favor.  

I went to big lots and stocked up on mason jars.  One 12 pk was only $6!  So I bought around 6 boxes of 12 to insure I had extras.  

Next I put all of the mason jars through the washing machine.  Then I hand-washed the lids and let them dry. 

After everything dried I spray painted the flat part of the lid (I had no idea what they're called) with chalkboard paint. And let it dry and replied. 

And put it all together: 

I found the pink & white twine from etsy and the pink chalk I chose to write with from the dollar store.  In the end, I decided not to go with the little paper sayings because I had to ship them all the way to Kansas from Baltimore.  

When I got to Kansas I bought some tea bags from the grocery store.  I went with just standard Bigelow English Breakfast, because I wasn't sure of everyone's taste. 

End everyone seemed to love them.  People can actually use them after they get home! :) 

Other Bridesmaids

When you are the Maid of Honor, chances are you are not the only bridesmaid.  Unless of course, you're the only bridesmaid at a sweet and low-key wedding.  In that case, the below info probably won't apply to you.

There can be anywhere from 1 other bridesmaid to 12 other bridesmaids.  Seriously, I had a teacher in high school who had 13 bridesmaids.  It can be odd to be the 1 gal that is singled out.  In the wedding hierarchy, you're up there.  So, how's that feel?

It can be wonderful and scary at the same time.  In the wedding I was in, I didn't really know the other gals.  I had heard all their names and seen their pictures on facebook, but that's about it.  It felt really weird to know that since my Bride and I were in a LDF (Long Distance Friendship), most of her other bridesmaids pretty much hung out all the time.

Tips to Getting to Know the Other Bridesmaids:

•  Friend them on Facebook

I know this sounds so basic, but nowadays it really starts the foundation of the relationship.  It's easier to have a mass Facebook message thread to communicate.  You can see each other's personalities and start to have a real relationship. 

•  Invite to Pinterest Board

Are you a Pinner?  I sure am.  I started a secret board and invited all the bridesmaids to join it for the bridal shower & bachelorette party inspiration.  If you're not yet a pinner, I highly recommend getting on pinterest.  It's way easier than googling shower & bachelorette ideas. 

•  Co-planning Bridal Shower

While you maybe the 'hostess' of the party, definitely invite the bridesmaids to participate.  It will help with costs and can be a great way to bond.  

•  Have a Bridesmaid Day

Go out to brunch or lunch, go to a movie, just go shopping for the parties.  Whatever you do, definitely have a bridesmaid day without the bride.  You get to learn about everyone and create a memory.  In those awkward silent moments you can refer back to this. Plus, it can be lots of fun. :) 

Well that's about all I hate.  Does anyone else have any other suggestions as to how to bond with the other bridesmaids? 

What to Wear

(Sorry I forgot to publish this yesterday, I will put up 2 today because of it!)

Perhaps one of the greatest points of contention for a bridal party is what to wear?  Will the bride put you in taffeta?  Will they put you in a tu-tu?  Will they ask you to walk down the aisle in nothing but your skivvies?

Source

Okay, so chances are the last question will never happen.  So what's the rule to being the best MOH you can be?

Wear it, even if it's not your color, even if it itches, even if you hate your arms-- Just Do It.

Here's my rule of thumb: In so many years when it's your turn to get married, would your bride wear whatever you pick? Yes?  Then wear it.  If you said no, then maybe this isn't a wedding you should be.

I swear I'm not actually all that harsh in real life, but if the person who is perhaps your bestest friend asked you to be MOH you put on that dress for her.  Better yet, just picture the worse thing you can imagine (Like 1980s only bigger and more itchy).  Then whatever she picks will be great.

Some brides want their bridesmaids to pick the dress.  Any they honestly want their opinion.  Now there maybe a few reasons for this: lots of different body types, some are more modest than others, they actually want you to re-wear the dress, etc.  So in that case if you're sugar-coated opinion.  Do you hate strapless because of your arms?  I do.  But I wore it, because I knew it would look lovely on everyone else and the day is not about me.

Now, if you are MOH and the other bridesmaids show the bride a dress you know the bride hates-- be the bad guy.  Tell the other bridesmaids you hate high-low dresses, or scoop necklines, or it's too trendy or whatever.  You are the right hand woman, which means you are first inline to wear that seafoam green, mid-calf length, peplum sporting, tulle puffed arm, taffeta dress that comes with a tu-tu.

Perhaps the only times you can tell a bride how you actually feel about a dress:

You are uncomfortable in it modesty-wise.

If you are a busty woman such as myself, you may really uncomfortable in the deep V-necked dress everyone else is in love with.  You have a right to stand your ground on this one.  Ask the bride if you can have a piece of fabric put in if the neckline is too low for comfort.  Or maybe add cap sleeves if you don't usually show your shoulders.  If something makes you feel super uncomfortable in the modest-sense, stand your ground and offer an alternative.  Don't hate on the dress, be creative and your bride will surely help a sister out.

The dress is crazy expensive. 

The average price for a bridesmaid dress is around $150 not including tax.  Don't believe me?  Check David's Bridal, your jaw will drop.  Now if you are in a financially sticky place to begin with you have to realize that being a party of the wedding is going to cost money.  Dress, shoes, travel, gifts, bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc.  Those are perhaps the biggest ones.  But if you really really can't swing the dress price, talk to the bride calmly and rationally.  Do not let your emotions get the best of you and do not yell at her.  Chances are the bride tried to pick the most inexpensive dress that also fit her vision.  So be understanding, and most importantly be prepared to remove yourself from the wedding.  I know this sounds harsh, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

If you're not on a time crunch, typically you can set aside some money at a time to pay it off before you even buy it.  You can search online for the same one, but used (I suggest ebay, craigslist, and ruffled blog).  You can also clean the dress after you use it and sell it back off.

Just for fun the average a bridesmaid spends on a wedding she is a part of.

Source

Do not let yourself go into debt over a wedding, but be prepared to make financial sacrifices.

31 Days Of Being The Best MOH You Can Be

Let us start with an introduction to my Maid of Honor-ing (MOH-ing) experience.

I don't have much.  I have been an MOH once, this past August.  With that, I learned a lot.  And one thing people kept saying to me is "Most MOHs don't do this" or "Are you for hire?".  With compliments like those, I took it I knew what I was doing.  So let me start with you about the wedding I had the privilege of fulfilling this position for.

This my readers, is one of my bestest friends, Em.  She is the one in white.  ;)  Emily and I met freshmen year of college as roommates.  Although she transferred shortly after we remained in touch and super close.  When she was proposed to in March, I was one of the first to know (after moms of course).  And shortly after she asked me to be her MOH.  I was speechless and nearly cried when she asked me over facetime.  I really considered this an honor and there was NO WAY I was going to screw this up.

So, I helped her plan a wedding in 4 months, planned a bridal shower in 2 months, and co-planned a bachelorette party in 4 months all from 1,000 miles and 1 time zone away.

The next 31 days will be about things I wish I would have known, things every MOH should do, and some crafty things I did.  My first point for the next 31 should be this:

IT IS A COMPLETE HONOR TO BE CHOSEN AS MAID OF HONOR (hence the name)

If you do not feel you have the time or energy, or you simply don't want to please speak up.  Also, never assume you're going to be asked, that's how feelings get hurt.  And while technically you are only expected to help with shower and sign the marriage license, the more you do, the more memorable the experience will be.

So step one in being the best MOH you can be?

Appreciate every moment, every penny you spend, and every tear you cry with your bride.  It is truly one of the greatest things I ever got to be a part of in my whole life.

I Moved

Well, it took longer than I care to admit, but I'm finally writing this post.  I moved from Baltimore to Jackson Hole on July 1st.  See diagram if you're not too good with geography.  ;)

Anyway, life has been a whirlwind ever since.  I have my first out of college job as a sales manager for an awesome little company.  I have tried indoor rock climbing, been hiking, seen Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Park, and have seen plenty of wildlife.  Because no one really cares about the logistics I've decided the rest of this post is going to be a bunch of pretty pictures.  Enjoy my new home.  :) 

Big Changes

Some changes/ posts I need to catch up on:

1. I moved! From Baltimore to Jackson Hole, WY.  Yeah, it's a bit different.  I promise I'll write a post tomorrow!


2. I started a new job! I love this job and it's my first out of college salaried job. If you've recently graduating, I promise there's hope.


3. I helped plan a wedding! I'm going to be doing the 31 Days series that the lovely nester (my blog-dess if you will) is hosting.  And my topic will be on how to be the best Maid of Honor you can be. I'm still working on a catchy-title, but you get the idea.  


4. I'm redesigning the blog! I swear as little as I write, this blog gets more work done than Joan Rivers (sorry, Joan!). So I'm working on that and hopefully that will be done before October.

Well, that's about all I have for this morning because I have to get ready and go to work.  So here is some kittens to make your Thursday morning a little less cruel.  

Happy Thursday! :)

My New Favorite Blog

I discovered my new favorite blog.  It involves photography, cats, and delicious food.  I think by far my favorite part is the pictures because this blogger is from Jackson, WY.  Which in a few week will be my new home.  *cue swoon music*

So anyway here is a preview of some pictures: 

(Shoot, Chow, Meow)

KITTY!!

(Shoot, Chow, Meow)

I also have to say I'm a little bias, because I think the blogger is pretty cute. ;) 

Good Changes

Well my friends, today I handle in one of the final drafts of my thesis.  And I feel like this:



Yep, it's pretty great. Now I defend said thesis on Thursday and hopefully my committee falls in love with it and I don't have to do anything.  If there are things they think could be improved upon I have 48 hours to fix them.  If my committee hates it then I go and cry in a corner with all my failure.  Hopefully, that won't happen.

Good change: I almost have a life again!

The blog is getting a bit of face life.  I'm never really content with the look.  So currently I added social media buttons to the right (yay!).  And I am working on a new banner for the blog.  Including a very cute new font and such.

Good change: Things are going to be pretty!

May all this week be full of good changes because Graduation is in 12 days!!

CUPRAP 2013

I did it again.  I left you hanging with no explanation.  I just went out the door and never came back, but I did! *SEE* ;)

I didn't post anything this past week because (drum roll please).....

CUPRAP!!!

To be quite brutally honest I have no idea what it stands for, but I can tell you it was the greatest professional conference experience I've ever had. I may be a little bias because it was my first. ;) With that it must be said it was the greatest first conference experience I could have ever had.

The conference is usually held at the Hershey Hotel and there is legitimately chocolate EVERYWHERE.  This is just one example of a "typical" dessert:

I can't honestly say all my dress pants fit as well as they did on Wednesday morning.

Any who, I did not say anything about the conference on the blog because I didn't really know what to expect.  I knew there would be presentations and I would get the opportunity to talk to people who really know what they're doing in the realm of Higher Education social media, but that's about it.

What I didn't realize is how welcoming, and kind, and enthusiastic everyone was.  On thursday I had this "ah-ha" moment of "THESE ARE MY PEOPLE!" There was a presentation from the Department of Education; a session on crisis communication, a presentation from Noel Levitz (an awesome company that does research on prospective college bound high school students.

At this conference tweeting was super encouraged with #cuprap13, which is apparently normal for social media/ other tech savvy enthusiast gatherings.  And that was awesome.

  Generated by TweetReach.com entering #cuprap13

I never once did homework, I just learned at that friends was the greatest.  The time and opportunity to just digest as much as I could BECAUSE I WANTED TO LEARN.  

I'll talk more about some of the information I learned later, but right now I'm out for a run to try and start to lose some of this chocolate weight.

Have a great morning everyone! :)

I hate Sundays

It's really not Sundays fault.  This day of the week always feels like the end and not the beginning of the week to me.

- I don't want to be productive
- I don't want to go out
- I don't even really want to socialize

All I want to do on a Sunday is watch movies & lay in bed under my warm electric blanket (<-Best investment ever, by the way) When I used to live on campus Sunday was my "Go get 'em!" day.  No, that I live off campus I feel no obligation to do work on Sundays.  I am better off any day of the week.  What also doesn't help this is that I don't have class on monday (lucky me!) :)  It's very nice not having class on monday, but it does mean that I have a lot of obligations on Tuesday.

This is my short little post, because I really need to trick myself into working on my thesis or getting ahead on some Technical Writing assignments.  Maybe I'll start with a cup a coffee.

Hehe. Compliments of Little French Market in Ellicott City, MD's Facebook page. Happy Sunday all! 

So you want to write a thesis [Part II]

CREATE AND STICK TO A TIMELINE

That is what everyone who has ever written a thesis will tell you.  And you will go "I know. I know." and then you won't do it.  We all do it, and it sucks when the time for your proposal is due and you haven't written a word other than your cover sheet. So I propose a new solution "want to stick to your timeline."  

1.  If you are receiving undergraduate credit for this research it's essentially a class.  Create a time in your schedule as if you had to go to a class room or lecture hall for it 3 times a week (or however many credits it is).  THIS IS NOT A FLEXIBLE TIME.  Treat it just as if it was class and unchangeable.  

2.  Start with your residual message, also known as your thesis statement.  If you know what you want other people to get out of reading your paper then you can better approach it.  Also if you have direction, it's way easier to find clarity-- trust me! 

3.  Read this html document from Prof. Stearns from Yale OR here in PDF compliments of UWYO

The document is wonderful and I think the first few points are especially important because they apply to everyone at every level of thesis writing such as "prepare for the worst."  Isn't that the truth?

4.  Write down the wrong date for things. This doesn't mean later then when they're due, but early.  Trick yourself into thinking you only have a week and half to write that proposal rather than 3.  If you get it done early you can get more editing out of the way and half of your proposal will be in pristine condition while everyone else is fumbling around.  

5. Love your topic.  If you do not love your topic, this will not go well for you.  BSing 10-15 pages of a topic you don't care about can be a struggle, image 30+ pages.  Make yourself love it, even if you don't love the whole thing.  Find certain aspects that excite you.  And if nothing does, change your topic PRONTO. 

Thanks all for now-- Godspeed my friends! 

I fell off the wagon...

I used to be a neat freak.

There I said it, I admit it.  I used to be such a neat freak in fact that I would clean my roommate's side of the room.  For the first three years of my college experience that's how I was, and it was great.  My room was always clean my sanity stayed pretty stable because of it as well.   Well my friends this year I fell off the wagon HARD.  Like so hard I hit my head and entered a coma.

I'm too ashamed to fully describe the madness to you, but I will say it's getting difficult to find all of my shoes-- NOT GOOD!  I am usually very organized: my desktop is pristine, everything on my hard drive is in the appropriate labeled folder, my thesis binder has dividers, and my agenda is color coded.  See, I am organized!!

I am going to blame it on the fact that this year my roommates and I are renting an unfurnished single family house (it's pretty hard to find furnished home space).  What does this mean?   This means that we are college students on a budget so we have to get creative with how we use space.  My room, for example, does not have a closet.  So I had to build one using some huge eye hooks, curtain rods and curtains to help hide my clothes a bit.

I made sure everything has a place to go, but with the curtain closet the room still look very messy even when things are clean and organized.  So, why clean if it's still going to look a mess.  Honestly, I just need to get over that.  Today will be the day I will clean. I just have to keep telling myself that.

So you want to write a thesis [Part I]

On Wednesday I had the greatest epiphany of my academic career-- I finally knew the residual message (or thesis statement) of my honors thesis paper that I have been working on since September.

Okay, that's a lie, I am supposed to have been working on my honors thesis since September-- OOPS!   Well now that I finally have some clarity I feel I can give a few tips on writing an undergraduate thesis so here it goes.  Let's first start with 1 of 3 scenarios you can be in.

1. If you don't want to write a thesis and you don't have to write a thesis to graduate-- DON'T
No, but seriously if you don't want to and don't have to there will be not motivation and it won't happen.  Or worse, your product will be sub par.

2. If you have to write a thesis, but don't want to-- TIME MANAGE
In my thesis program we didn't even meet once a week, and when we did meet nothing had to be turned in it was all very abstract.  Make yourself turning something in every week, ask if you can meet with your faculty advisor every week at the same time.  If you don't have something to keep you accountable you will be spending many all-nighters before your proposal is do.  30 sources in less than 30 hours, you're gonna have a bad time.

3. If you want to write a thesis (regardless of whether you have to or just want to)-- KEEP MOTIVATED
You would think this is the easiest scenario to be in--WRONG, so so wrong.  You will lose motivation, you will ask yourself why you're doing this, and you will threaten to end it.  You will also be extremely hard on yourself because you want it to be perfect, but you'll still procrastinate.  You will need to time manage just as carefully as those people who don't want to write a thesis, but have to.   You can do it! You want this, remember?  

I'll continue with specific tips later this week. Have a good night everyone! =)

World's Worst Blogger

I'm officially giving myself that title.

It's been almost a whole year since I've posted anything and I don't think I've actually ever posted anything 'good'.  So here we are a whole new year of Ariel attempting to write for a blog.  I really like to write, I think I'm still getting over the whole putting my words on the internet.  Any way, I have a proposal...

In case you didn't know this past wednesday was Ash Wednesday, which starts Lent for me.  Typically for Lent you don't eat meat on Fridays (or Ash Wednesday) and you give up something until Easter Sunday.  This year I'm not buying clothes.  This is going to be a serious challenge for me as I love to shop.  In addition I will give away a piece of clothing each day I am tempting to buy something and the clothes at the end of Lent will be donated to a food pantry in town that also gives away clothes.  Anyway, this year I think I'm also going to add posting at least 2 blog posts a week to the list.

What will be my topic, I don't really know (that's always been my problem).  Perhaps I'll share my frustration with undergraduate research, my inability to keep my room clean (my backpack is beyond organized though), or the movie I just saw.  Who knows really.  I want to blog, so I need to motivate myself.

So I guess we'll see how it goes.  Wish me luck! =)

P.S. Tonight is $3 movie night (I love college) and I'm going to see this:

And I am very excited.  =)